I could still taste her on my lips when the bullet ripped through her chest, spattering her remaining life on my face and hands.  She collapsed into me, a look of confusion on her face even as she died a few moments later.

Time moved on as the squeal of tires and the screams of other pedestrians echoed as they ducked and ran for cover, leaving me in an awkward state of shock and calm as I sat on the ground, cradling her lifeless body in my arms.  I looked into her staring and glassed over eyes, wondering about a woman that I would never get to know better, wondering what I could possibly say to her parents whom I had never met.

This was the third date, we had just kissed for the first time, I mean how much can you know about a person in three dates?

Her hair smells like cherry blossoms.

I mean, it’s not like we were getting married or anything.  We’d only started to get to know each other really well over the last couple months.  I was too lost in my own thoughts to notice the flashing of red and blue, red and blue, back and forth, back and forth.

She puts cinnamon on everything.

A couple EMTs lifted her off of my lap like she was nothing more than a small child asleep in my arms.  Somebody dabbed at my forehead and there was murmuring as I slowly looked up to see someone lean over with a flashlight.  The light was bright, causing me to squint.

She’s terrified of lightning.

I shook my head as they brought a stretcher in my direction and took the EMT’s hand as they helped me to my feet.  There was a stabbing pain in my gut, and as I brought my hand away, I found it covered in fresh, warm blood.  Rubbing it between my fingers, my vision began to go out of focus as the EMTs turned in my direction and began to rush toward me.  The last thing I saw were the flashing lights of the ambulance.

She had always loved to go to the fair.

Darkness and light, my head swam as I tried to look around, a wave of vertigo hit me and I turned to the side.  The EMT at my side pulled off my oxygen mask as I vomited into a small bucket that they had waiting in their hand.  I rolled back over and they placed the mask over my face, but as the band pulled against the back of my head I cried out from the pain that erupted in my skull.  The pounding in my ears was unbearable and I caught a glimpse as they pushed the plunger of a syringe into my IV and the darkness claimed me again.

Ears, elephant ears were her favorite, covered in cinnamon.

My world is pain as my eyes fly open only to be blinded by a bright, stinging light.  I try to move my arms and when I try to look I can barely lift my head, but I can just make out some straps keeping them down.  More pain, it feels like my chest and belly is on fire and someone is churning my guts.  I see someone in a gown and mask pointing at me with a bloody scalpel in their other hand.  A mask appears in front of my eyes and is secured over my mouth.  My vision swims again and I feel like I’m falling through water.

She loves to swim…loved to swim.

I’m in a bed now and I can barely move, there’s a slow IV drip with names and numbers that I don’t understand.  The smell is overpowering, cleaners and chemicals mixed with assorted bouquets of flowers, it almost makes me throw up again.  It does nothing to cover the smell still stuck in my mind, I can still smell the blood and gore all over me, her blood and mine mingling together.  My head is still throbbing, and I softly cradle it in my hands.  I can see her, I can hear her, I can still smell the subtle sweetness of her hair.  I love her.  I love her, I thought as a tear streaked across my cheek and dripped off of my chin.

Why can’t I remember her name?